There Is No Lie In This World-Chapter 26: So this is good bye

I was escorted back to my office by two helpful - and intimidating - guards from the Zhen Tea House. Neither of them spoke, but that was fine by me because I wasn’t sure what to say either.

The cryptic words of Councilor Zhen played over and over in my mind. She knew - she knew that something strange had happened at the lobby of the Roen Tower when Bada got shot and was miraculously saved.

’Darkness’ was all Luc said and the world got engulfed as she commanded. Nabir turned into a cross between human and some mythical beast. Cain and Abe were simply ’paused.’ And then... there was that whole weird ’presence’ whose name I couldn’t remember, except the incredible weight of dread it brought to me, some sort of primal fear.

Just as if she read my mind from many, many floors away, I saw Luc standing by the window as soon as I returned to my office. She stood there looking outside with her hands clasped behind her back. Upon hearing the door close behind me, she slowly turned.

"Welcome back, Miss Roen."

"Welcome back, Luc."

"I apologize for my absence at the most inopportune moment."

"Or rather, it seems your absence brings inopportune moments," I hadn’t completely gotten over the mild but nagging annoyance at how she had been seemingly avoiding me since the incident.

Luc simply smiled, and walked toward me, stopping a few steps away as she usually does.

"How was the tea?" she asked.

"Bitter."

She then studied my face, probing my thoughts with her eyes. Out of spite, I tried to hold a poker face, but it didn’t work.

"I see that Councilor Zhen said some unnecessary things."

Damn. Can I not hide anything from this woman? It was as if my thoughts were written all over my face and she simply head to read them to figure out what was in my mind.

But perhaps I could use this opportunity to probe into the mysteries.

"She knew something ’strange’ happened the other day."

"Did it?"

That made me snap.

"You know what I’m talking about! Could you please explain everything to me now?!"

Luc startled me by gently taking my hand. She felt very cold, almost like ice.

Without a word, she led me to the window and we stood side by side. The city underneath was calm.

"How does it feel to have the world at your feet?" she asked.

"It’s funny - actually, not funny at all - how the world below me is crushing me."

"Doesn’t it make you feel powerful? To have everyone bow to you, to have everyone eager to cater to your every need, to have your entire future secured?"

Her eyes fixed on mine felt like lie detectors. I had nothing to hide, but it made me nervous nevertheless.

"I..."

Luc granted me a moment of hesitation, as if she understood I wanted to confess something I wasn’t able to say since I came here. Out of obligation.

But I decided to face it. This circus couldn’t continue like this forever. Even if it could, it wasn’t right for me to be here.

"I just want to go home."

"Would you-" Luc turned to face me, "really leave if you could?"

I turned to her as well. There was a shade of melancholy in her eyes. This wasn’t like Luc that I’d become used to seeing.

It made me hesitate for a moment.

It hasn’t been long since I was thrust into this office, and it was all just a catastrophic error and misunderstanding, but-

It saddened me to think that I’d never see Luc again if I left.

And why would I?

There was nothing that binds us together. As helpful and supportive she had been, we were not friends in any shape or form.

I meant nothing to her. And she meant nothing to me. I was just a stray dog who was taken in by a kind host for a while, who mistook me as the puppy he had lost a long time ago. With each day the burden in my heart grew. The more people pampered me the greater unease I felt. There were highlights for sure - visiting the aquarium with kids definitely stood out as a memory I would treasure. But even that... led to a disaster where Bada almost died. All because of me.

The longer I stayed here, the more I would end up hurting people around me.

What I had to do now was clear.

It was time for me to leave.

"Thank you for everything..."

That was all I could say.

"The pleasure was mine," Luc responded, not missing a beat. It was as if she expected this from the start all along.

I felt a pang in my heart.

I couldn’t explain it.

"You may leave tomorrow. I will have Elune pack your bags."

My heart sank.

Why am I feeling this way...?

I said I wanted to go home, didn’t I?

Why do I feel so surprised - or worse, hurt - that my wish was granted and I get to leave this suffocating place? Shouldn’t I feel relieved?

There was no turning back, and I had no good reason to change my mind. But something inside me was stirring.

My brain was telling my heart that we can only find comfort once we get out of this place and go where we really belong - the comfort of solitude in a cramped one-room studio littered with junk food packages and crumpled clothes.

Yet, my heart grew heavy. I felt like I had a stubborn child inside me who planted her feet and refused to budge no matter how hard I pulled. Against all logic, this child wanted to stay.

"So... this is... good bye?" I asked, just one last time - waiting for the nail in the coffin.

"It is. Indeed. I wish you well, Miss Roen."

Those were her last words. She just gave me a polite bow, turned, and walked away.

You are so cruel, Luc. Why couldn’t you try to persuade me to stay, at least just once - out of formality?