Memory of Heaven:Romance Written By Fate Through Beyond Infinity Time-Chapter 468 My Lover Is There, So I Am Incomplete

That morning was quiet, as if nature was holding its breath in a deep silence. Without the hanging fog, without the wild magic seeping in, and without the shifts in reality that usually shake the soul.

However, in Fitran's heart... there was an unrest.

He sat alone by the lake, his fingers touching the calm surface of the water, staring at his reflection. But what he saw was not his own figure; instead, it was a void surrounding him, as if no one was there to accompany him.

The water appeared like a window opening into the depths of his soul, flowing with a disquieting emptiness, radiating dark shadows and memories that should have been harmonious; but now it only evoked echoes of loneliness that pierced the soul, creating a stabbing sense of hollowness.

Fitran realized that every time someone's name—Rinoa, Sheena, Iris, even Beelzebub—crossed his mind, he did not feel whole.

He felt incomplete.

"I love you..."

"...because you made me realize that I am not enough."

Fitran repeated those words in his heart, like a mantra that could not dispel the dark shadows surrounding his thoughts; a feeling trapped in the illusion of love that was supposed to save him, but had now become a prison full of regrets, locking him in deep and prolonged sorrow.

And suddenly, all the affirmations he had once created felt misguided.

All the magical pacts that promised the completeness of love now seemed empty and misleading.

He was trapped in the thought that love was supposed to heal and beautify, but instead, it created deeper wounds; transforming into a sharp dagger that dug deep into his heart, uncovering a dangerous gap called imperfection, which he had hidden like a ghost in the darkness.

"Love is not a completer," he whispered to himself.

"Love is a broken mirror that makes us see the sides of ourselves that we have long covered."

Fitran stood before his own Voidling—a small creature, like a shadow born from fear, wounds, and unspoken confessions. As he gazed at the creature, he felt a strange closeness, as if the Voidling was a part of him that had been neglected, one he had never acknowledged.

He asked, his voice barely trembling:

"Did I ever truly love... or did I just want to heal myself through others?"

The Voidling did not answer. However, it clenched its small fist and produced a small symbol:

∂ (partial)

That old calculus symbol indicated: partial change.

In the recesses of his heart, mixed feelings crept in, as if he were staring at a cracked mirror reflecting various hopeful faces, yet wrapped in deep dissatisfaction. Like a melody that never ends, one question spun in his mind: Is friendship and love often just an illusion of our infinite loneliness?

"I will never be whole."

"But your existence... changes part of me to be more honest," said Beelzebub, her soft voice amidst the tumult of Fitran's thoughts. Yet, in the corner of his heart, Fitran felt that honesty like smoke—unable to be fully grasped, only inhaled until it evaporated in the disquieting void.

Beelzebub sat not far from him, tidying her half-broken wings, which looked heavy and full of wounds. Every movement, every scratch on those wings seemed like a struggle against reality, reflecting how difficult it was to accept one's own imperfections. "You look restless," she said, her tone gentle and understanding.

"I am aware," Fitran replied, his voice softly trembling in the emptiness, "that I am not looking for someone to complete my life." His facial expression reflected uncertainty, as if every word he spoke was a fine thread threatened to break. Behind those words lay a deep anxiety; was it possible for someone to find peace when one part of themselves always felt lost?

"I am looking for someone... who makes me feel that it is okay to be incomplete." How difficult it was to express the longing for that imperfection, like embracing a shadow that kept disappearing from his grasp in his restless sleep, leaving behind a trail of dissatisfaction.

Beelzebub chuckled softly, her voice offering a hint of doubt, but perhaps there was also a deep understanding behind it. In that tone, warmth was heard, but also sadness, as if hinting at all the stories left untold, trapped in an endless web of time.

"That is the most beautiful thing you have ever said," Beelzebub replied, as if igniting a spark of hope within Fitran. Her voice flowed like a gentle ray piercing through the dark fog, reminding Fitran that imperfection was not a limitation, but a window opening possibilities to explore other hidden sides of love.

On the other hand, Rinoa, who had never had the chance to finish a single sentence with him, left a deep trace of longing. Every interrupted sentence felt like a verse of a song flying in the sky, reminding him of the beauty sought but never attained.

Sheena, who gently called his name as she left, produced a call that still echoed in his heart. That voice seemed to build a bridge between hope and uncertainty, creating a deep and curious trace in Fitran's mind.

He recalled various precious moments, when Rinoa's smile appeared like a soft light piercing the darkness of the night, reminding him that even amidst imperfection, there was a touching beauty, although a blanket of sorrow still loomed. "You all... are pieces of my incompleteness," he thought, trapped in the whirlpool of his tumultuous feelings and longing.

"And I do not want to fix it."

The world that once demanded wholeness began to weaken, like dry leaves falling from branches as the seasons changed. Stable magic lost its meaning, as if it could no longer bind reality with clear boundaries. Yet, from that sad ruin, a flawed spell grew deeper, like tree roots creeping beneath the surface of the earth: unseen, but very significant in the ongoing struggle of life.

An incomplete Glyph... healing unseen wounds, giving birth to a sense of hope amidst chaos; an unfinished sentence... awakening children from bad dreams, as if whispering the secret that within imperfection, there are valuable lessons to be learned; a canceled pact... protecting an unnamed city from destruction, as if providing an escape for souls trapped in the depths of sorrow, like a rainbow appearing after a storm, bringing light to the darkness of the heart.

That feeling haunted Fitran, awakening a spirit of love that grew from uncertainty, as if there was a problem greater than just loving; the birth of various feelings that complemented each other, even though sometimes it felt painful and full of challenges—like a tree growing through cracks in asphalt—making him rethink the meaning of true relationships, where every feeling, however faint, has its own role in a greater harmony.

From the center of the crack in reality, the Gödelian Codex began to show remarkable changes. A new symbol appeared on its surface: δ + ∂ = ∞. This was not just a solution or a mathematical formula, but a glimmer of hope shining amidst the infinite calculations, like a candlelight in the dark.

But this concept transcended mere existing numbers:

Imperfections that change each other, like two rivers meeting and flowing together, bringing new strength, giving birth to sustainability in the growth of sincere relationships. In Fitran's thoughts, this concept reflected the love relationship he was experiencing; that imperfection—including fragility and vulnerability—was actually the source of true strength that could strengthen the bond between people, not weaken it. "I love you because you give me space... to feel lost, without fear of being left behind," he said, his voice soft yet full of meaning, like morning dew refreshing the soul.

And that was the essence of love he had been searching for—

not an answer, but space to remain incomplete... together. That space gave him the freedom to breathe in each other's imperfections and find beauty in the winding journey.

Love does not make us whole; it makes us more aware that we can be incomplete, as long as there is someone who remains amidst those shortcomings, like a rainbow that reveals beauty after the rain—becoming a symbol of hope that shines in deep sorrow, showing that even though life is not perfect, there is always beauty waiting to be discovered, and that is a very valuable lesson.