How To Survive A Calamity-Chapter 190: Guilt

The next thing i recalled was my eyes sprung open to a splitting headache that seemed to one to reap my head in two from inside out. My eyes widened and I sharply drew in a deep gasp and jerked up from my position, causing the sheets around me to flutter and ruffle.

'No...!'

At the same time, the next moment, my left arm jerked to shoot out and grasp for something forward in the air, but the instant i tried to do so, i immediately regretted it.

A searing pang of pain shot through the entirety of my left arm that ironically didn't even move — or couldn't move. The short, but intense shock of pain managed to pull me out of my reverie, anchoring me back to the state of my current reality and slowly i began to realise where i was and my current condition.

'... It's just a dream.'

The moment i realised this, my initial panic that forced me to jolt up,

began to dissolve then i winced and involuntarily arched my back as a sharp hiss of pain slithered out of my lips. The pain from my left arm caused me to shudder and groan as i quickly reached my right hand, which was relatively much better, for it and lowered my head as i graoned from recoil.

"Ugh..."

The pain was terrible, but at least it managed to force some clarity into my pulsing head as i slowly began to take in my environment and circumstances in full.

Still wincing from the pain from my left arm, i raised my head and cast a gaze into my vicinity, realising the familiar room and environment. The white walls were familiar, the smell of the air was registered in my memory, and even the ceiling felt the most familiar.

As i recovered from my initial shock, a small breath left my lips as i recalled i was still currently in the Academy's Infirmary. There was a decently wide and open windo next to me on the wall by my left, and pristine white bed sheets were sprawled across my lower body and legs in a disorderly manner.

They were probably neatly tucked away around me, but my sudden lively awakening had sent all of it into dissaray now.

"Ah..."

Another sigh left my lips and my shoulders relaxed. As my chin lowered in the process, i felt something drop down from it and hit against the white sheets keeping me partially covered quietly.

Looking down, it was a bead of sweat and it was at the same time i realised my entire back and forehead was drenched and covered entirely in it, causing my expression to dim even further, and my body to squirm under the uncomfortable feeling it caused me.

It went without saying, i was covered in bandages and wrapped up from head to toe, for the most part. Well, it was much better this time around than the first time i woke up a couple of days ago before. But my current appearance, still wrapped up, wasn't something one could call sightly; there were clothed and pale bandages wrapped around my bare torso, and one of my legs was elevated slightly above the bed.

My entire left arm for example was completely wrapped up in thick layers of bandages and special mixture from my shoulder before finally ending in a thick creamish white cast that felt ridiculously heavy.

The Infirmary room this time around was an isolated clinical room unit, so there was really only just me in it. And i had already been here for a couple of days, or weeks already.

Casting another dreary glance, sitting up right against my bed, i slowly turned and cast my gaze out the open window. These days, ever since i somehow returned alive from the Dungeon, if i wasn't bored to sleep, or awake like this, all i could do was just stare out the window and have my thoughts trail.

That had been my life as of late, and it unfortunately, or fortunately continued on like that for a few more days, since the practitioner in charge of my admission insisted i remain in the infirmary for a while longer for whatever reason.

"What a drag..."

***

A few days later, however, my drab, calm and slow routine finally came to an end.

After struggling to place on my shirt myself with only one good arm for the last thirty minutes without succeeding, and shamefully asking one of the available nurses for help in the end, the door to my infirmary room burst open and an unexpected face barged in with a bright smile that was irritatingly dazzling.

"Vic!"

Alexander pranced into the room, looking hale and healthy and well alive, his smile and boisterous demeanor filling the otherwise dry and drab atmosphere of the infirmary with a new fresh breath of life.

"I heard you woke up some time ago, but i wasn't allowed to meet you for various reasons until now. The truth is, I've also just been recently discharged only a few days ago, so i haven't been able to move around until then. And a little even after that, until now."

I stared at Alexander speechlessly and mildly in suprise for a moment. Just as Alex had said, it's already been a long while since i woke up, a couple of days already since after the Dungeon Incident. But aside from the doctors and nurses in charge, and a couple of Academy officials, i hadn't been allowed to see anyone else or vice versa.

I was still considerable injured, and apparently with a series of processes preceding each other. And besides, with someone of my standing in the Academy, just who exactly would i be expecting would come see me like this?

But that really wasn't where my shock and exaggerated reaction from seeing Alexander all so suddenly came from. Just like Alex, i already more or less knew about the state of the others. Don, Deandra, Trise and the rest — each of them were alive and survived. Ironically, i was the only one in the worst shape and closest to the death bed actually.

But...the last time i had seen Alex was in Dark Castle. I could still vividly recall those final moments with stark clarity even after all this time. How couldn't i? Alexander currently was in a far better shape than he was then, but i still couldn't shake off this immense and weighing sense of guilt and slight trepidation hanging over my heart like the blade of a guillotine when i saw him. Without realising until now, i had silently been dreading facing Alex again.

I couldn't imagine what kind of face Alexander would make once he saw me, then i had to remind myself Alex hadn't seen me back then in Dark castle. No.

He had seen the mysterious Stranger in a mask instead.

"Alex...i heard you woke up, as well. Glad you seem fine."

It took a little while, but in a few instances i managed to regain initial control of my emotions before Alex could notice and schooled my expression neutrally.

All of all that aside though, i really hadn't been expecting a visitor, or someone outside of the doctors or nurses who would come to check up on me. This was also why i considered Alex as strange and unusual, despite most to all of our previous interactions having been shallow and one sided with obvious lack of effort and interest on my side, Alexander has still persisted to stay by my side, almost as if insisting i was something to him.

My feelings were mixed and complicated, i really wasn't sure how to feel as i realised Alex really was the only one closest to who i could call a friend in the entire world, not just the Academy.

No. Throughout my entire life, even.

Yet, i still couldn't shake of the memory of his gaze at me back then at the chamber in Dark Castle. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but something about that moment made me freeze and it felt like my blood flowed backwards. A weighing and heavy emotion hung over my heart at that time.

I hadn't thought about it ever since then until now, just when Alex so happened to pop up, so i still wasn't certain what exactly the source of guilt and fear i was facing meant, or where they came from.

Alex didn't see my face and there was no chance anyone would link my identify to the Masked Stranger, so what was there to feel fear about? And as for guilt...

As my thought process trailed untill this point, i felt a cold darkness blend into my mind, my fist almost clenched in the process.

'I did what had to be done.'

Then I forced a pale smile. "Thanks for coming to see me."

Alex blinked before regaining his bearing, his visage like the innocence of a child and he grinned.

"Hehe."