You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale - Chapter 87 - Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Alex, a socially awkward guy with a mundane life, dies in the most ridiculous way imaginable — slipping on a banana peel while whacking off to an adult film. His embarrassing demise leads to an even stranger fate: he wakes up reincarnated as Jonny Sins, a rising star in a parallel universe where adult film actors are legendary heroes wielding unique powers of charm, seduction, and stamina.But life as a hero-pornstar is more complicated than it looks. Jonny is guided by Lustina, a seductive, snarky AI system offering him power-ups and quests — all with a price. As he navigates the absurdity of this erotic world, Alex discovers deeper mysteries about the System bound to him. Why was he chosen? What is Lustina’s true purpose? And why does the fate of the erotic multiverse seem to rest on his… performance?Armed with special techniques, limitless stamina, and newfound confidence, Alex must embrace his new identity as the Legendary Hero of Many Professions — doctor, soldier, astronaut, teacher… and aggressive step-daddy — to rise through the ranks and confront the ultimate threat to pleasure and freedom.It’s going to be a wild ride.–––[Jonny I've got an audition for you, are you interested?]Jonny: what's that?[Do you wanna act in a porn fraction? The role is an amateur twick is available for now]Jonny: Do you really want me to act as an amateur twick?.[If you aren't ok playing the role of an amateur twick, there is another role available. The role of an aggressive step daddy]Jonny: I choose the step daddy! I always loved to be a stepdad. I was born to play this role.

Everyone has friends in their lives, right?They can be anyone—good friends, bad friends, or even... friends with benefits.Ahem!Anyway, the point is, everyone has friends. And so did I.I was friends with author of web novel.Yeah, was.A small argument over how the main character should act in novel of [World’s Greatest Hero] led to a fight with my friend, the author.Still frustrated, I stormed out of his house... and that’s when Truck-kun hit me.But that wasn’t the worst part.The worst part? I woke up in a different body—the body of a side character in my friend’s novel.A character who is supposed to die in the prologue.[Your body is dying!][You don’t have much time left.][The creator of this world is mocking you.]F#ck you, Author.F#ck this novel.I will survive, and when I do—I'll beat you to a pulp!---

“I swear I will make them pay with everything I have. I will use my very own blood to sign the documents that will end them if I must!”To Champagne Gold, life was always like a fast-moving truck with no brakes and a drunk driver, one she couldn't avoid.At the age of five, she lost her parents in a helicopter crash. Life after that was one problem to another but she held on... until her grandfather passed away as well.With his death came the loss of her position of CEO and her hard-earned shares. As if that was not enough, she was served with divorce papers and the revelation of her husband's adultery with her cousin.Dealt with one too many blows, Champagne sought to end it all. Perhaps she could be reincarnated or whisked away to another world like the books she read before, but that was not to be. Instead, a mysterious man entered her life.“Rather than escape like a coward, I can give you the power and resources to carry out your revenge. I have but one condition―marry me.”Champagne held her lips between her teeth and took the offer.However, just when she believed her new life was going smoothly, she found out another painful secret. One more painful than any she had discovered before.She had undergone a uterus removal procedure and she didn't even know it.Now Champagne is more determined than ever to get revenge on everyone who wronged her. She would do and give everything to make them pay for taking away something so precious from her.

I thought I had been abandoned,But I was actually the child that the Namgoong family had been searching for.It wasn’t until I was killed by the Blood Demon, whom I had called “teacher,” that I learned the truth. When I awoke again as a thirteen-year-old child, I decided to return to the Namgoong family.I didn’t seek to be recognized as family.I only wanted to prevent the Namgoong family from falling apart as it had before.“This is the jewelry, silk, gold bars, and elixirs that the family head has gifted to you.”“Here, little one. This is a congratulatory gift for your return.”As soon as I was recognized as the lost granddaughter of the Namgoong family,I gained delicious food, fine clothes, gold and silver treasures, and a high-quality sword!I also gained a grandfather and a father who cried and laughed for me.But what was that strange, tingling feeling in my chest every time that happened?In order to protect the smiles of those I had once killed,and to preserve this warm and ticklish sensation for as long as I could,I was determined to change the bloody future that awaited me, unlike my previous life…**Namgoong Mucheon’s face darkened.‘Is this child truly raised to be an assassin?’The sharp killing intent and the sword techniques essential for an assassin were reflected in her life, as if they were embedded in her very being.‘Damn brat.’Anger surged within Namgoong Mucheon.He restrained himself from cursing aloud in front of his granddaughter, muttering in his mind instead.‘How dare they raise my granddaughter as an assassin?’The blue energy surrounding Namgoong Mucheon grew even stronger.