Careful What You Think, Pervert! (My Dirty Thoughts Became Real) - Chapter 12: If I Don’t Say It Out Loud, It’s Not a Flag, Right?

Chained by slavery and yet craving freedom, such is the fate of Alpheo , a modern historian forced to live under the grip of slavery in a land where chaos would soon erupt.

As the empire of Rolmia plunges into civil war following the death of the emperor , his three ambitious sons vie for the throne. In the midst of this turmoil, Alpheo finds the chance to break his chain and escape, leading his companions into the ashes of war, trying to thrive in it, selling their swords to the highest bidder .

But beyond the borders of Rolmia, hungry eyes watch as the empire's grip loosens. The Sultanate of Azania, ever the opportunist, sees a chance to expand its domain and influence , while to the south, neighboring principalities breathe a sigh of relief as the once-dominant giant stumbles and falters.

In the north, the confederation of the Free Isle finds their chance to restore their old tradition of pillaging and piratery, denied to them by an empire that is now crumbling beneath itself.

In this crucible of conflict, where dynasties crumble and empires fall, Alpheo find his call and the chance to forge his own destiny amidst the ashes of empires.

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In a dilapidated temple, a young man receives an outdoor webcast system, and thus, his webcast journey begins. He easily finds lingzhi worth thousands of dollars, keeps a falcon as his pet, and displays skills that leave his audience in awe. When he turns his head around, he discovers that the whole world is watching him.

When he joins a show, everyone asks, “Is this webcaster cultivating to be a deity?”

Someone exclaims, “This isn’t an adventure, this is a vacation!”

A reporter asks him, “Your fans claim that you know martial arts. Is that true?”

He answers, “Not true.”

Yet, in the next moment, when a little red bird flies past him, he takes a leap from a tall platform before jumping down…

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

According to a popular legend, the famous God of War of Great Liang, Huo Wujiu, was once captured by an enemy country. He had his meridians severed and both his legs broken before he was thrown into the prison. In order to humiliate him, that incapable ruler of the country gifted him to his cutsleeve brother as a concubine.

General Huo suffered a great deal of humiliation. He laid in wait for three years before he shed his cicada skin and returned to the Great Jing. He treated his crippled legs, and three months later, he led his army to storm the enemy’s capital. He slaughtered the emperor, razed the capital, and finally beheaded that tr*sh of a cutsleeve, displaying his head on the city’s walls for the next three years.

Since then, the world has been united.

——

A certain university’s history lecturer received a graduation thesis depicting the legend of Huo Wujiu, and he wrote a full page of criticism for the student.

Then he blinked, and he was transmigrated into the body of that cutsleeve prince.

There were lanterns and decorations everywhere. A man came, sending word that the disabled general of the enemy state had already entered the manor in his wedding sedan.

As he looked at the General Huo in front of him, taking in his malicious gaze, his tortured state, clad in a red wedding gown, Jiang Suizhou realised that even legends can come true.

This legend could even cause him to be beheaded in public in the future, with his head hung on the city walls for three years.

Jiang Suizhou’s only option was to take good care of General Huo.

In spite of the hidden arrows of the court’s political agendas and the incapable ruler’s endless attempts to humiliate him, he could only bite the bullet and bear the brunt of it; his only wish was that after three years, he could protect his own head.

Of course, he didn’t dare to even dream of asking this 3 meters tall “concubine” to serve him.

However, before the three years was up, General Huo’s legs recovered on their own.

He didn’t just slaughter the incapable ruler and unite the land under the heavens, but he also climbed into his own bed and pinned him down with a heated gaze, stubbornly wanting to establish his status as a concubine.